Coaching Blog

The one thing I hear, continuously, like an irritating song you only half know, half hear while out somewhere and then spend the next 4 hours singing over and over, is …. ‘if you’re going to be self-employed, you going to have to network.’

I know the logic of it, you get to know me, you get to like me, you pass me work (and of course, vice versa).

But does it have to be so  …….. brutal ?

Networking seems to require the same levels of resilience and self-restraint as displayed by anyone who has been polite to a Jehovah’s Witness after they’ve asked you if you love your children.

There have been times when I have only been able to stop myself from pricking someone with their name badge only by imaging they are my favourite and much loved Uncle Gladstone (real name).

• I’ve had people smile, say their name and what they do, then hand me two business cards, before walking off. (And if this is you, just so you know, I threw them both away.)
• I’ve watched people’s eyes move over my shoulder whilst I’m talking, squinting whilst they try to read the name badge of the person behind me (looking for someone more willing to part with their cash ? More interesting ? Taller ? Who knows …… it’s a quick way to kill a conversation and once I catch them doing that I move on).
• I’ve listened to people tell me (unprompted and unasked) what my ‘problem’ is and how they can help me make more money.
• I’ve also listened politely to wildly inappropriate (sexist, racist, homophobic) points of view (rants) from people who think that once ‘we’re on the same page’ I will circulate their details to everyone I know. (I don’t.)

  And finally, I’ve shaken the sweaty palms of people who were so unnerved by the thought of talking to strangers they lost the ability to use verbs in a sentence.

Then, when I could no longer stand the meat market that is open networking, I’ve clapped until my fingers tingled and I feared I had lost my sense of touch each time a person:

• said their name
• the name of their company
• what they did for a living
• why they would be good to know and who they wanted to talk to (in a well-crafted 60 second speech)
• passed business to another member of the group
• said they enjoyed attending the meeting

all before everyone else in the country had even thought about getting out of bed and starting their day.

So where does that leave me ?

I need a sensible, less predatory, more respectful way of finding potential coaching clients and passing on work to people I know and like …… how hard can that be ?